Having Friends
Making Friends
Making Friends
1. Keep in mind that you belong to Jesus Christ, and let Him lead you to the friends who will be good for you. The Lord wants you to have friends who will help you live more and more for Him. As in marriage, try not to be “unequally yoked” in two of your three closest Christian friendships. See Together Be Led by Jesus Christ
2. Deny yourself for the good of those you meet who might become a good friend in the future. Then note whether this self-denying agape love is reciprocated. If so, it might be worth pursuing a friendship. Once a friendship is established, do not stop loving in this way. See Love One Another
3. When meeting people, be interested in their activities and goals. The ability to be interested in more than just your own agenda will be appealing. If you become friends, be constantly interested in your friend’s ambitions and let him or her know that in Christian friendships, the favor is returned. Discuss when and how you can be available to each other in light of your family responsibilities and other commitments. See Be Devoted to One Another
4. Accept other people’s differences and don’t ridicule. Acceptance does not always mean approval. It just means that you recognize who a person is — both personality and preferences. People do not care to be friends with someone who wants to change them. See Accept One Another
5. Pay no attention to small annoyances, and make good friends with those who have only a few irritating qualities. But do not avoid anyone just because they are not like you. You will have to overlook minor irritants in someone you want for a friend in order to benefit from his or her more important traits. See Bear with One Another
6. Serve people without discrimination. People who have the time for a good friendship will notice your fairness. This will open up many people to choose from in making two or three best friends. See Serve One Another
7. When looking for two or three close friends, decide what personal characteristics you want in them and what activities you hope to enjoy together. Then go to meetings that would be of interest only to those kinds of people. Someone at a church service and a person at a Bible study convention may be two very different kinds of people in terms of commitment to the faith. See Meet Together Regularly
8. Promote the people around you rather than elevating or drawing attention to yourself. Humility is a very attractive quality. Your strengths will show without self-promotion. You will not draw the better people to yourself if you are proud or always try to be better or smarter or more popular than others. See Be Humble with One Another
9. Treat people in good ways that they do not deserve. Be compassionate with their burdensome needs. Be patient when they are overwhelmed. See Show Mercy and Be Compassionate
10. When meeting people, speak openly and truthfully in a helpful way to let them know who you really are. Don’t try to make a good impression by sounding like someone you are not. While you may gain a friendship quickly that way, you will probably lose your new friend soon. See Speak to One Another Truthfully and Helpfully
11. Place courage into people for the challenges in their lives. This will show that you can make an invaluable friend. Everyone needs a couple of friends who join with him or her in facing life’s obstacles and achieving life goals. See Encourage One Another
12. Keep in mind that someone who cannot freely admit specific sins may be a difficult friend. We are forgiven in Christ, so anyone who is not working on identifying his or her faults may not be able to do many of the Togethers. The Togethers are critical to a really Christian friendship. See Confess Sins to One Another
13. When searching for a friend, watch carefully the behavior of those who appeal to you as potential friends. Determine what their behavior says about their faith rather than just relying on their words. Decide to make a person a good Christian friend only after you have evidence that their faith is similar to yours. See Examine One Another’s Faith