1. In your day-to-day conversations together, worship God through an ever-expanding appreciation of who He is. In spirit and truth, translate your worship into action, showing that you mean the words you pray and sing. One main way to worship powerfully is to obey the Scriptures by doing the 65 Togethers. Each Together reflects an aspect of God’s own character. This is worship because it reflects back to God His own character. When you act like Jesus, God sees His Son reflected in you. See Worship God Together
2. Study the Bible together by discussing passages in the normal course of life, letting God speak to you through His Word. This will help you hear God more and more. Of course, studying the Bible and praying can and often should be done at set times. Yet it is every bit as powerful when brought up during the activities of the day as biblical truth comes to mind. Don’t overlook spontaneous prayer whenever life calls for you to speak together with God. Obey God together to express your love for Him. See Communicate with God Together
3. Let God have free reign so He can use the supernatural gift(s) of the Holy Spirit He has given you. Occasionally, the Lord will activate your spiritual gift(s) for your spouse’s benefit, even though they will be most active for the good of the larger church. Help your spouse see the unmerited favor and undeserved goodness of God that he or she receives. God gives us mercy often. It is important for spiritual growth that you help your spouse recognize the more prominent provisions of grace. See Administer God’s Grace to One Another
4. Place courage into one another to act in faith outside of your comfort zone. Stepping out in faith stretches us and can lead to tremendous spiritual growth. Remember your primary role of helping your spouse do anything God asks of him or her. There will always be things for which more courage is needed. See Encourage One Another
5. Recommend your spouse to others who can benefit from his or her love, faith, talents or spiritual gifts. Each act of service results in growth in Christ as well as treasure in heaven for your spouse. See Commend One Another
6. Lovingly prod your spouse into expanding ministry for God’s work in this hurting world. Each increasingly difficult task requires more faith and spiritual growth. Don’t let your husband or wife settle into a comfortable life of inaction. See Spur One Another On to Love and Good Deeds
7. Empower each other to freely admit sin so that such confession can lead to healing, both spiritual and physical. Since our sins have been paid for, it is unnecessary to hide them. It is also an insult to God not to confess sins openly and let healing come, for that is why Christ died and rose from the grave. It seems we hesitate to confess our sins out of fear that it will be used against us. Therefore, when your spouse confesses sin, do not pile on judgment or use it to your advantage. Instead, participate in the healing that can come. See Confess Sins to One Another
8. Together investigate the wonders of God’s kingdom, especially how its culture differs radically from our sin-contaminated society. Like exploring a huge castle, search out the wonderful rooms, sights and loving behaviors of the kingdom. Each of the 65 Togethers has many wonderful aspects. They define righteous relationships within God’s realm. See Seek the Kingdom Together
9. Seek to make the nature and interactions of your marriage perfect and set apart for God. Don’t be discouraged by your individual sin. Your marriage can be holy at times even when as individuals you are not. That is the beauty of social systems — they can be better than the people who belong to them. See Pursue Holiness and Perfection Together
10. By carefully listening to comments and watching behavior, identify subtle areas of your spouse’s faith that need growth and that promise wonderful outcomes. We Christians can sit on our laurels a bit too much, assessing our faith as strong against weak standards. In marriage, a husband and wife can overcome this shallowness. Being around each other often, marriage partners can find great opportunities for spiritual growth. Just remember to let your spouse suggest areas for your growth as much as you propose them to him or her. See Examine One Another’s Faith
11. Teach each other spiritual things as God reveals them to you. There is so much to learn, so focus on listening as God teaches the two of you in the midst of daily life. If you stop to hear the Holy Spirit (and, perhaps, to smell the roses), you will hear spiritual lessons all around you. Don’t just pay attention to them; learn them and pass them along to others, especially to your spouse. See Teach One Another
12. Disciple one another by living out your faith in plain view. Sometimes, like a sports commentator, explain why you are doing something, thinking something or feeling something. Faith is not a private affair. We should be watching one another’s faith (expressed in thought, feeling and action) all the time in order to speed our transformation into the image of Jesus Christ. See Disciple One Another
13. Be sure that your spouse does what God has assigned. This is first of all for God, as it should be, but it is also for the sake of your spouse and his or her heavenly rewards. Do all you can to help your spouse engage the task and be successful in whatever role it involves, whether at home, at work, in the church or community. Read See That Each One Does His or Her Part
14. Be at each other’s side when God judges and corrects, for there is great spiritual gain in His discipline. Remember that God is the one who changes people. You are not allowed to judge, discipline or correct when He is sculpting your spouse’s character. Instead, you are to uphold and encourage without rescuing. Do those things that give your husband or wife the fortitude to face the challenge God has designed. See Face Discipline and Judgment Together
15. Together as a team make life better for others, especially those outside of the faith, and so be the salt of the earth. This world can have a bad taste, and lost people need to be exposed to those who might add a more pure perspective. By word and by deed, your marriage should make life better for others, whether or not they accept Christ. Stretch your marriage to shake out more and more salt. See Be Salt Together in a Bland, Tasteless World
16. Join in the mission and struggles of a few missionaries by praying together for them out of empathy. Know or predict what they might be going through and back them up by asking for God to act on their behalf. Consider their struggles your struggles and thereby grow in your own faith. See Uphold the Gospel Messengers in Joint Prayer
17. Work together to bring others the good news of salvation through Christ. Help them find a personal relationship with God and the privilege of being on God’s side in the battle against evil and unrighteousness. Discuss together who are the non-Christians within your sphere of influence. Plan how to have the kind of contact with them that will provide an opportunity to tell of God’s fantastic offer. See Proclaim the Gospel and Be Light
18. Find and defeat the deceptions of Satan in yourselves and in the thinking of those with whom you have influence. The devil is smart and, therefore, subtle. He is trying to mislead all of us, and he is succeeding with some. God wants to use the two of you to clarify the truth of the Bible and to lovingly challenge any unbiblical thinking. In a day when people tend to make up their own “truth,” this is no easy task and requires both of you to have a good grasp of what the Bible teaches. Arguing the faith and taking a stand against the devil’s schemes will create tremendous spiritual growth. See Contend for the Faith Together
19. Study together biblical armor (Ephesians 6) and help each other put it on. See that neither of you goes into war without protection. Knowing that your husband or wife goes out to attack evil every day on this sin-contaminated world, work to understand each piece of armor. The armor defends us from evil as we attack it using love and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. See Arm Yourselves
20. Spot questionable teachings and analyze them together with Bible study and prayer. Satan likes to twist the truth in ways we do not see. Not all things that seem to produce good are good or allowable in God’s kingdom. Some seemingly good and harmless, even powerful, things taught by well-meaning Christians come from intelligent and convincing evil spirits. They must be spotted and discarded. See Test the Spirits Together
21. Together hate some specific evil and work to defeat it. Hate seems like a strong word, but it is commanded in Scripture. Indifference to sin is unacceptable and is sin itself. You can’t defeat every evil, but in your heart you can hate it, even if it is in you or affecting others. For example, can you imagine not hating sex trafficking? But, don’t hate people (sinners), just the sin. Spiritual maturity is needed to make such a distinction. See Together Hate Evil and Defeat It
22. Since holding to spiritual truths that have long become incorporated into your lives is easy, every so often find a biblical truth that will challenge both of you anew — and act on it. In grappling with some of your more urgent prayer requests, you might be reminded of a Bible promise that is honestly difficult to believe. Being familiar with truth is one thing, but putting your life on the line for it is the kind of “knowing the truth” that “sets you free” (see John 8:32). Read Hold to the Truth Together
23. Hold each other back from the love of money. Do not allow yourselves to find more joy in making money or spending it than in your activities of faith. The Bible warns that the love of money gives birth to many sins. Greed can contaminate your dreams as well as ruin whole societies. See Keep One Another from the Love of Money
24. Help one another when people hurt you. Together consider solutions other than revenge. Revenge is not one of the ways of God’s kingdom; returning evil with good is. This takes growing faith, but it allows God to be the one to stand up for you. This is far better, so keep each other from taking things into your own hands to strike vengeance. See Keep One Another from Revenge