Christians Together
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  • How to's
    • Loving Your Inner Circle
    • Being Married >
      • Finding Long-Term Stability and Deep Meaning
      • Preventing Unfaithfulness
      • Growing in Christ Together
      • Enjoying Each Other
    • Raising a Family >
      • Having Enough Money
      • Helping One Another Succeed
      • Helping Kids Turn Out Right
      • Making Family Life Enjoyable and Responsible
      • Caring for Elderly Parents and Grandparents
      • Parenting Alone
    • Having Friends >
      • Making Friends
      • Keeping Friendships Interesting and Meaningful
      • Meshing with Family
    • Being Single >
      • Finding Meaning in Life and Dealing with Loneliness
      • Picking a Mate
    • Aging Well >
      • Getting in Touch with Life’s Deeper Meaning
      • Avoiding Helplessness
      • Surviving Financially
      • Not Burdening the Kids
      • Braving Illness
      • Facing Death with Courage
    • Tackling Life >
      • Preventing or Resolving Conflict
      • Succeeding in a Job
      • Maintaining and Growing in Purity
  • Essential Foundations
    • Preface & Introduction
    • Chapter 1: Growth of Our Spirits into Christ's Image
    • Chapter 2: Faith Together Must Become Essential
    • Chapter 3: Preparing for Heaven Needs to Be Now
    • Chapter 4: The Togethers in Worship & Battle
    • Chapter 5: The Togethers and Eternal Relationship with God
  • The Togethers
    • Togethers of Relationship with God >
      • 01 Worship God
      • 02 Submit to God
      • 03 Led by Jesus
      • 04 Communicate with God
      • 05 Serve God
    • Attitudinal Togethers >
      • 06 Love
      • 07 Belong to
      • 08 Be Devoted
      • 09 Accept
      • 10 Bear with
      • 11 Forgive
      • 12 Submit to One Another
      • 13 Serve One Another
    • Togethers That Hold Together >
      • 14 Citizens of Heaven
      • 15 Meet Together
      • 16 Unity
      • 17 Peace
      • 18 Humble
      • 19 Harmony
      • 20 Mercy
      • 21 Meet Needs
    • Togethers That Strengthen >
      • 22 Hospitable
      • 23 Treat Equally
      • 24 Share
      • 25 Administer Grace
      • 26 Speak Truthfully
      • 27 Encourage >
        • Encouragement Methods
      • 28 Honor
      • 29 Commend
      • 30 Spur On
    • Togethers That Heal >
      • 31 Hurt With
      • 32 Comfort
      • 33 Confess Sins
      • 34 Carry Burdens
      • 35 Restore Faith
    • Togethers of Spiritual Growth >
      • 36 Seek the Kingdom
      • 37 Pursue Holiness
      • 38 Examine Faith
      • 39 Teach
      • 40 Counsel
      • 41 Disciple
      • 42 See Do His or Her Part
      • 43 Face Discipline
    • Togethers of Involvement in the World >
      • 44 Be Salt
      • 45 Be Wise
    • Togethers of Evangelism >
      • 46 Uphold Messengers in Prayer
      • 47 Be the Light
    • Togethers of Battle >
      • 48 Contend for the Faith
      • 49 Arm Yourselves
      • 50 Warn
      • 51 Battle Temptation
      • 52 Stand Up to Devil
      • 53 Test the Spirits
      • 54 Hate Evil
      • 55 Die For
      • 56 Rescue and Restore
    • Togethers of Perseverance >
      • 57 Pray for One Another
      • 58 Run the Race
      • 59 Preserve Hope
      • 60 Face Hardship
      • 61 Hold to the Truth
      • 62 Look Out for One Another's Good
      • 63 Forbid Mistreatment
      • 64 Prevent Love Money
      • 65 Prevent Revenge
  • Resources & Applications
    • Friends Together with Jesus >
      • Getting Started in Friendships That Build the Church
      • Jesus in the Cereal Aisle
      • 3 Friends Walk into a Cafe
    • Family Together with Jesus >
      • Getting Started in Family Life That Builds the Church
      • How to Lead a Family as a Family
      • Successful Family Dialogue
    • Marriage Together with Jesus >
      • God-Centered Marriage
      • Getting Started in Helping Your Marriage Build the Church
      • Successful Couple Dialogue
      • Powerful Hints for a Successful Marriage
    • Communication & Fun Games

Getting Started in Helping Your Marriage Build the Church
by Dick Wulf 

 
What would you do if you became convinced that your marriage was one of your best opportunities to honor and obey Jesus Christ? How would you respond if you realized that wherever two or three believers are gathered in His name, Jesus is among you? Are you clear on what He wants you to do?

The following suggestions come from my professional training, in which I learned what makes small groups of people successful in both relationships and the group’s purpose.

Step 1
It is very important to agree on a biblically significant purpose for your marriage. A marriage without a purpose (beyond your own pleasure or security) is like a ship without a rudder or a destination. Many of the things that get in the way of a successful Christian marriage can be eliminated by focusing on the biblical purpose, recognizing that together as husband and wife you are a key part of Jesus’ church. Your purpose should describe a result, not merely an activity. “To be each other’s helper” is not specific enough. It is also important to include the phrase “to help one another” in your purpose statement (“Adam needed a helper.” — Genesis 2:18). My suggestion is that you adopt something like the following for a marriage purpose: The purpose of our marriage is to glorify God by helping each other enjoy God and be all that He wants each of us to be, as well as to work together to be all that God wants us to be together as a component of His church.

Step 2
Discuss with your spouse the costs such a marriage will entail, considering your newly adopted purpose. Things to consider may include but are not limited to the following: (a) commitment to help each other; (b) letting Jesus lead, (c) confidentiality; (d) learning the Togethers of Scripture and letting these instructions from God guide your marital behavior, (e) avoiding win‒lose outcomes, (f) being out for the other’s success more than your own (Philippians 2:3).

Step 3
Agree with each other to pursue the purpose and do whatever is needed to work toward fulfilling your purpose.

Step 4
Brainstorm more specific things that might be required in your marriage to accomplish the purpose (relationship problems that must be overcome, no matter what the cost or course of action necessary, finding time alone free from interruption, a consistent date night, etc.). Remember that your stated purpose should shape this discussion. 
This a good time to look over the list of 65 Togethers of Scripture, because these are the specific things that need to be done together as wife and husband to glorify God.

Step 5
Brainstorm the many things that could prevent your marriage from being what God wants it to be (mean behavior, not sharing chores, not making time available to be with each other, etc.).

Step 6
Read the articles “God-Centered Marriage” and “Powerful Hints for a Successful Marriage.”

Step 7

Perhaps it would be good to discuss what it means for a marriage to be a part of the kingdom of God. Here are the suggested actions from the “Marriage Together with Jesus” card included in the 65-card deck available. 
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