Together # 31
A Together of Healing
A Together of Healing
Hurt with One Another
copyright by Dick Wulf, 2018
Don’t let anyone hurt alone! Support one another through life’s most painful experiences.
John 11:32-35; Rom 12:15; 1 Cor 12:26; 2 Cor 1:7; Heb 13:3
People come to faith in Jesus Christ broken and damaged. The effect of sin in the world, including Satan's many ways of destruction, injures everyone. But God has designed a healing process through very personal Christian relationships.
The Lord seldom chooses to heal us miraculously. Since obedience during trial is the most powerful way to say, "I love You" to God, He often lets us recover from evil's effect in our lives over a period of time. In God’s plan, our recovery requires the help of our Christian brothers and sisters.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Rom 12:15 (ESV)
Rom 12:15 (ESV)
Note that it is not the physical act of weeping but the emotional condition of hurting that is important in this instruction from the Lord
If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
1 Cor 12:26
1 Cor 12:26
Hurting with those who hurt is God’s way of sustaining them. It usually is the first step of a threefold process in this order: hurt with, then comfort, then counsel. It is hard to be comforted by those who do not comprehend the hurt we are in and show that they care. Then, it is difficult to receive counsel from those who have not comforted us with reminders that God cares about them and their difficult situation. The progression in hurting with, comforting and counseling provides caring, then reassuring, and then advising.
For years it has been known that physical and emotional illnesses heal faster when healthy social interaction surrounds the patient. Yet, in our individualistic culture, most people try to heal alone. Believers, in particular, miss the great power of Christian relationships when they live so independently and autonomously. Jesus lives in us and to those who need healing we bring our love, powered by Him and given in His name. The power of Christians together with Jesus to absorb hurt, to comfort, and to counsel is very much needed.
Nothing is worse than hurting alone. Christians need to support one another through life's most painful experiences. It is a privilege of the abundant life to feel another's pain and share his or her sadness. Healing is an unhurried process; we must hurt with another before we begin comforting and advising. Pain and grief have a place in the process of restoration.
There is something very healing in knowing that those in our Christian Inner Circles are in close relationship with God and aware of our pain. The look on their faces communicate that they wish we didn't have to go through the hurt. We may be hurting, but we don’t need to hurt alone.
Hurting with others that shows deep caring takes many forms. Sometimes, as when a loved one has died, mournful silence is what communicates caring and shares the dark moment. Praying silently during that time brings God into the relationship and the sadness. In less fatal times of hurting, caring can begin with empathetic comments such as, "I wish so much that you didn't have to go through this," or, "It hurts me to see you hurting so much." These indicate that we are sharing pain, hurt and troubles together.
Let’s look at a process of showing you care written about years ago. It is useful for more than hurting with one another, so keep in mind that there are many other applications.
For years it has been known that physical and emotional illnesses heal faster when healthy social interaction surrounds the patient. Yet, in our individualistic culture, most people try to heal alone. Believers, in particular, miss the great power of Christian relationships when they live so independently and autonomously. Jesus lives in us and to those who need healing we bring our love, powered by Him and given in His name. The power of Christians together with Jesus to absorb hurt, to comfort, and to counsel is very much needed.
Nothing is worse than hurting alone. Christians need to support one another through life's most painful experiences. It is a privilege of the abundant life to feel another's pain and share his or her sadness. Healing is an unhurried process; we must hurt with another before we begin comforting and advising. Pain and grief have a place in the process of restoration.
There is something very healing in knowing that those in our Christian Inner Circles are in close relationship with God and aware of our pain. The look on their faces communicate that they wish we didn't have to go through the hurt. We may be hurting, but we don’t need to hurt alone.
Hurting with others that shows deep caring takes many forms. Sometimes, as when a loved one has died, mournful silence is what communicates caring and shares the dark moment. Praying silently during that time brings God into the relationship and the sadness. In less fatal times of hurting, caring can begin with empathetic comments such as, "I wish so much that you didn't have to go through this," or, "It hurts me to see you hurting so much." These indicate that we are sharing pain, hurt and troubles together.
Let’s look at a process of showing you care written about years ago. It is useful for more than hurting with one another, so keep in mind that there are many other applications.
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Showing That You Really Love and Cherish Someone
© 1995, Dick Wulf, MSW, Colorado Springs, CO
Showing That You Really Love and Cherish Someone
© 1995, Dick Wulf, MSW, Colorado Springs, CO
People can show their love in many ways. People do things for and with one another. "Doing" can communicate love, but it does not build significant intimacy.
It is by "being" that people open themselves for intimacy. If a married couple only "does" together, their relationship can stay shallow. This is sufficient for some people. But most of us want to "be together" in addition to "doing together". You can "do things" with just about anybody, so it is not normally a sign of closest love.
It is this "being together" that is addressed here. First we show that we understand. Then, we show that we care.
It is by "being" that people open themselves for intimacy. If a married couple only "does" together, their relationship can stay shallow. This is sufficient for some people. But most of us want to "be together" in addition to "doing together". You can "do things" with just about anybody, so it is not normally a sign of closest love.
It is this "being together" that is addressed here. First we show that we understand. Then, we show that we care.
SHOWING YOU UNDERSTAND
A person really wants to be understood (known) by those with whom he or she is supposed to be close (spouse, friend, family member). Understanding is the beginning of really caring about another person, but it must be followed by emotional, personal response which will be instructed shortly.
Level One Understanding: At the safest level of personal risk, you give intellectual acknowledgment. This is a good place to begin, but should be followed by Level Two and Three Understanding.
Level One Understanding: At the safest level of personal risk, you give intellectual acknowledgment. This is a good place to begin, but should be followed by Level Two and Three Understanding.
“You were really close to (the deceased person’s name).”
“You hoped that your daughter would have married a good man and her marriage would last.” “You worked hard for that promotion.” "You've had a rough day." (said factually without emotion) "You are a person who likes a regular dose of fun." "Did you write that letter to your mother?" |
Level Two Understanding: At a deeper level of risk and caring, you work at understanding and accepting a person's thoughts about his or her reality. Often this is through asking questions.
“Are you worried about what will happen now that (the deceased person’s name) has died?”
“Did you see this divorce coming?” “Did you expect to get this promotion? Are you confused about why you did not?” "The day didn't go the way you wanted, did it?" "For you, life is not worth living if it doesn't have a regular dose of fun." "What have you been thinking about that letter you want to write to your mother?" |
Level Three Understanding: At the deepest level, where loneliness begins to go away for the other person, you express fairly accurate understanding of and acceptance about a person's thoughts, and especially, feelings about his or her reality.
“You lost someone who was very special to your life. You will miss (him or her) greatly.”
“I can see your disappointment as well as your relief regarding your daughter’s upcoming divorce.” “You did a lot of work to get the promotion and hoped that it would be noticed and good enough to beat out the other competition.” "Today didn't go the way you wanted. It's been a rough one. You look like you're feeling discouraged. Are you?" "If you don't have a regular dose of fun, you feel restless and depressed, don't you?" "Are you feeling afraid to write that letter to your mother?" |
SHOWING YOU CARE
A person most knows that you really and truly care when you respond personally with your feeling reaction about the person’s situation, what you have come to understand about his or her thoughts and emotions. As shown, you begin by showing that you understand. Now you follow with your own emotional response which communicates that you care, not only understand.
If a person really cares, he or she will have an emotional reaction to another's situation. Expression of positive emotional feeling shows that you care, intellectual words show only that you understand. Some very logical and intellectual people will have the feeling inside and think that it is obvious in their intellectual statement. But, the caring feeling must come out in words.
People too often pass one another and one asks, "How's it going?" The other replies, "So, so." And then, instead of screeching to a halt and asking what is happening, the first person walks on. No interest in the person's reality, no understanding of how that person thinks and feels about his situation, no understanding of or concern for how that person is responding emotionally to his situation, and certainly no emotional response that would show real caring for that other person.
If a person really cares, he or she will have an emotional reaction to another's situation. Expression of positive emotional feeling shows that you care, intellectual words show only that you understand. Some very logical and intellectual people will have the feeling inside and think that it is obvious in their intellectual statement. But, the caring feeling must come out in words.
People too often pass one another and one asks, "How's it going?" The other replies, "So, so." And then, instead of screeching to a halt and asking what is happening, the first person walks on. No interest in the person's reality, no understanding of how that person thinks and feels about his situation, no understanding of or concern for how that person is responding emotionally to his situation, and certainly no emotional response that would show real caring for that other person.
“I didn’t want you to lose someone so dear to you. I hope you know you have many people who love you waiting to help in any way you need.”
“I wish it didn’t hurt so much to see your daughter so unhappy.” “I so wanted you to get that promotion. I know how much you wanted it.” "I wish your day had been better." "I would dearly like to see you having more fun and enjoying life more." "I am kind of afraid for you - that you won't get the response you need from writing a letter to your mother." |
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Obedient Christians need to know that the Lord expects pain to be shared, and then they will want to emotionally connect themselves to their friend’s, family member’s, or spouse’s distress. If we think about it, if we have no sadness to another’s hurt, we really don’t care about them in any significant way. We don’t want to even slightly resemble psychopaths who can torture and murder someone without feeling. We want to share the hurt and feel sadness inside. We want that sadness to be shown so that the hurting person does not feel so alone. God wants people cared for at the emotional level. He wants us to be sensitive to the pain of others and show it.
Opportunity to Become More and More Like Jesus Christ
Opportunity to Become More and More Like Jesus Christ
The White Family has a problem member. Rob gets his feelings hurt all of the time. He is very sensitive and ruins many family functions. The family has worked to help him see that he is interpreting things incorrectly, and Rob is working on improving.
Essential to this process is his younger sister Ava who feels his pain more than the others and stands by him without defending him. Her compassionate presence has carried Rob through many situations and made him strong enough to improve, for which the family is very grateful. The family recognizes that Ava is so much more like Jesus and admires her. They know that in time her example will help the Holy Spirit change all of them. |
Jesus felt the difficulties of others; he knew their pain. He responded often with compassionate healing, even if those restored did not thank Him. We can’t heal people like He did, but we can emotionally care about them and their situations as He did.
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. |
John 11:32-35
But, in the most wonderful joining with us in our pain, Jesus died. He did not just hurt with our hurt, He took our hurt for us as prophesied by Isaiah.
Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering, . . .
Is 53:4
and bore our suffering, . . .
Is 53:4
So, if Jesus asks us in Scripture to share one another’s pain, we want to do it. We want to notice the pain of others and help with the burden. We can remember Jesus’ invitation to do that – just as He does with us.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matt 11:28
Matt 11:28
There are a number of reasons that we avoid looking at the hurts of others.
For a few of us, we don’t want anything unpleasant in our lives. We surround ourselves with “winners”, those who are upbeat to be around. It is important that we help those in our Christian Inner Circles who shun those who are hurting and are so unlike Jesus. Nothing good at the spiritual level can come from isolating ourselves from the hurting of other believers.
While most of us who came from painful backgrounds would like to avoid re-experiencing that pain as it occurs in others, we usually do not turn away. We see the hurt of others as needing those of us who have seen God deliver from despair. Yet, there may be some in our Christian Inner Circles who are still too fragile to see the pain of others without spiraling down in their own functioning. We need to hurt with these folks as well, especially because they have pushed their hurt way down in their subconscious and might not be aware of the deep hurt from which they are running.
Let’s be aware of the pain in the lives of others, particularly those we are close to in our Christian Inner Circles. Let’s be like our Savior and truly care where it is so essential.
Opportunity to Worship God
For a few of us, we don’t want anything unpleasant in our lives. We surround ourselves with “winners”, those who are upbeat to be around. It is important that we help those in our Christian Inner Circles who shun those who are hurting and are so unlike Jesus. Nothing good at the spiritual level can come from isolating ourselves from the hurting of other believers.
While most of us who came from painful backgrounds would like to avoid re-experiencing that pain as it occurs in others, we usually do not turn away. We see the hurt of others as needing those of us who have seen God deliver from despair. Yet, there may be some in our Christian Inner Circles who are still too fragile to see the pain of others without spiraling down in their own functioning. We need to hurt with these folks as well, especially because they have pushed their hurt way down in their subconscious and might not be aware of the deep hurt from which they are running.
Let’s be aware of the pain in the lives of others, particularly those we are close to in our Christian Inner Circles. Let’s be like our Savior and truly care where it is so essential.
Opportunity to Worship God
Pastor Bill cheated on his wife and she left him and took the kids back to she and Bill’s hometown. The church fired him, and with just a seminary degree he is not trained in many vocational options. He is in a world of hurt.
Bill has relocated a couple of towns away from where his kids are living with their mother and her parents. Fortunately, a friend from church when he was a teenager lives in this same town and was willing to reconnect as Bob’s Christian friend. However, this friend was also a close friend of Bob’s wife and is disgusted with Bob’s betrayal of both his wife and his calling as a pastor. Yet, because he wants to do what God has asked and because he understands that it is worship, he has been willing to hurt with Bob for as long as it would take. And, it has been a couple of years now. |
God has given us the compassion in our Christian relationships to hurt with one another. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him his great compassion for us in that He goes through all of our hurts with us.
Of course, God hurt with us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place. Long before that God hurt with the Israelites who were slaves in Egypt.
Of course, God hurt with us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place. Long before that God hurt with the Israelites who were slaves in Egypt.
“Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.
The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” |
Exodus 3:5-10
Anytime we hurt with another Christian, we worship because we reflect back to God His own character. Actually, anytime we act like Jesus, God the Father looks down and sees His Son in us which reflects back to the Father His own nature. So, we definitely want to hurt with other Christians.
A group of Christians we can hurt with that is much like God’s hurting with the Israelite slaves in Egypt are the persecuted Christians around the world. It is a great privilege to feel hurt at their plight. We may not know them personally, but that makes hurting with them even more potent worship. Rather than just a quick thought, once in a while we can meditate on their persecution and hard lives, join them in their hurt with great sadness (however we each feel it), and then pray for them.
Sustained hurting with others is sometimes necessary when a dear one of someone in our Christian Inner Circles dies. It is natural to be there with them in the first few weeks. That is very important, but the world does that pretty well too. In the Kingdom of God we can share their pain for its duration. That might be a year or two for a death or an ugly divorce. There are so many lonely, hurting people out there who are visited far too seldom.
Then there are those in our Christian Inner Circles with chronic disease and pain. They know that we can do nothing to cure them or take away their physical pain. Let’s pray for them, hoping that God will heal them. But then there is more to be done. We can let them know that we care and are sad that they suffer. They can hear it in our words. They can see it on our faces. And, they can notice that we drop around frequently to take their minds off of their disability.
Long term pain is felt by parents whose grown children do not walk with the Lord. Others in their Christian Inner Circles need to join with that pain, often until that hurt goes away when they die. We don’t want to not care about such long-term pain. Those of us also with children not in the faith will automatically hurt with other parents in like situation. But the rest of us with children solid in their faith need to step up and hurt also.
In addition to occasional deaths and divorces, there are hundreds of little hurts that inflict our sisters and brothers in Christ regularly. Therefore, we have many opportunities every month to worship by going through pain with others.
For example, whenever something looked forward to doesn’t pan out, there is painful disappointment. We can be disappointed with them. When the rent is raised for a single parent just getting by, there are painful adjustments to be made. We can join them in their concern and then go through our Christian Inner Circle contacts to help financially if necessary.
There are plenty of opportunities to worship through sharing pain. Let’s not avoid them. Let’s not be afraid to hurt with others, counting it a privilege to be like God in this way and so worship Him.
How Used in Battle to Defeat Evil and Satan
A group of Christians we can hurt with that is much like God’s hurting with the Israelite slaves in Egypt are the persecuted Christians around the world. It is a great privilege to feel hurt at their plight. We may not know them personally, but that makes hurting with them even more potent worship. Rather than just a quick thought, once in a while we can meditate on their persecution and hard lives, join them in their hurt with great sadness (however we each feel it), and then pray for them.
Sustained hurting with others is sometimes necessary when a dear one of someone in our Christian Inner Circles dies. It is natural to be there with them in the first few weeks. That is very important, but the world does that pretty well too. In the Kingdom of God we can share their pain for its duration. That might be a year or two for a death or an ugly divorce. There are so many lonely, hurting people out there who are visited far too seldom.
Then there are those in our Christian Inner Circles with chronic disease and pain. They know that we can do nothing to cure them or take away their physical pain. Let’s pray for them, hoping that God will heal them. But then there is more to be done. We can let them know that we care and are sad that they suffer. They can hear it in our words. They can see it on our faces. And, they can notice that we drop around frequently to take their minds off of their disability.
Long term pain is felt by parents whose grown children do not walk with the Lord. Others in their Christian Inner Circles need to join with that pain, often until that hurt goes away when they die. We don’t want to not care about such long-term pain. Those of us also with children not in the faith will automatically hurt with other parents in like situation. But the rest of us with children solid in their faith need to step up and hurt also.
In addition to occasional deaths and divorces, there are hundreds of little hurts that inflict our sisters and brothers in Christ regularly. Therefore, we have many opportunities every month to worship by going through pain with others.
For example, whenever something looked forward to doesn’t pan out, there is painful disappointment. We can be disappointed with them. When the rent is raised for a single parent just getting by, there are painful adjustments to be made. We can join them in their concern and then go through our Christian Inner Circle contacts to help financially if necessary.
There are plenty of opportunities to worship through sharing pain. Let’s not avoid them. Let’s not be afraid to hurt with others, counting it a privilege to be like God in this way and so worship Him.
How Used in Battle to Defeat Evil and Satan
First Street Church has done it right. They have taught their members that they are in spiritual warfare and that it is a privilege to fight evil as the devil brings it to church members. Church leadership has prepared the church’s small groups for far more than Bible study. The groups are equipped to deal with the hurt Satan inflicts on church members.
Sally grew up in a very dysfunctional and poverty-stricken home. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. Sally was not doing well a short while ago. Joe's wife just kicked him out of the house six months ago. June is very unhappy in her marriage. Both she and her husband Bob are aware that she would just like to get a divorce and find someone else to marry. These three people who are in a lot of emotional pain were placed in small groups where healing could take place. June and Bob were also in another small group as a couple. (In the one, June could freely express her dissatisfaction and receive the healing Togethers freely. In the other group, June could practice growing closer to her husband.) In each of their respective groups these three hurting individuals could see the pain on other faces when they unburdened their hearts with truthful expression of their despair. In silence, in holding their hands, and in expressions of pain, each group hurt with their brother or sister who was facing severe negative feelings and circumstances. Slowly the hurt decreased as it was accepted and absorbed by others. |
Too few of us knew we were receiving the privilege of going to war against Satan and evil when we accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord. Most often the gospel is presented in a way that emphasizes what we get out of God’s great and gracious love and leaves out that we are to love God back and join His war against the devil. We are told that God has a wonderful plan for our lives, but it is not clarified that the plan includes the great privilege of battle. There was a time in history when being a knight was a high pursuit. Now, Satan has addicted us to safety, comfort and pleasure.
And, so, we are taken by surprise when things go terribly wrong. It hurts twice as much because we do not realize that we are in the ugliest of wars and pain is inevitable. Seldom does the church tell its members that it is a great honor to know personally the Creator God and fight for His honor. Only the good stuff is taught in order to entice us to accept Jesus’ death for our salvation. Left out is our opportunity to return God’s great love in obedience to the good and in fighting evil.
Satan inflicts evil and hopes that we will be left to hurt alone and become miserable and resentful. The last thing the evil one wants is for us to pay attention to the many Scriptures that point out that suffering is good for believers.
And, so, we are taken by surprise when things go terribly wrong. It hurts twice as much because we do not realize that we are in the ugliest of wars and pain is inevitable. Seldom does the church tell its members that it is a great honor to know personally the Creator God and fight for His honor. Only the good stuff is taught in order to entice us to accept Jesus’ death for our salvation. Left out is our opportunity to return God’s great love in obedience to the good and in fighting evil.
Satan inflicts evil and hopes that we will be left to hurt alone and become miserable and resentful. The last thing the evil one wants is for us to pay attention to the many Scriptures that point out that suffering is good for believers.
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.
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Phil 1:29-30
God knows that suffering is inevitable and can be used by Him for our sanctification. Therefore, He commands us to be by one another’s side when hurt comes
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
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Romans 5:3-4
Hurting with one another takes a stand against Satan’s power to cause us pain and, thereby, draw us away from God. Usually it is easy to recognize that the hurt came from the devil’s influence. The evil one corrupted our humanity by tempting Adam and Eve, fouls the society and culture in which we live, and sends unseen supernatural evil beings to afflict us. So when someone acts selfishly and hurts a person we love, we should understand that the hurtful person is influenced by some sort of evil begun by Satan, either a short time ago or thousands of years ago in the Garden of Eden, or any time in between.
Consider also that we are more vulnerable if we hurt alone. Like good Marines, we don’t want to leave anyone behind. Satan is able to do more damage whenever we are alone, but especially if we are in pain. Hurting alone can take the Christian from loving God and serving others as fervently as before. That Christian’s confidence may waiver and negatively affect his or her work for God’s glory for months, maybe even years.
There are different kinds of people to stand beside in their pain. There are people hurt by the normal events of life, such as losing a job during a recession. There are those who have been hurt by people or organizations who use power in an evil way as when profitable companies cut hours to keep from providing benefits. Then there are those whose own behavior has brought about the hurt, as in losing a job because of poor performance. And, there are those who are hurt because the one hurting them is hurting, as a boss being insulting who privately just had his management salary reduced to protect lesser-paid workers.
All of these hurt Christian people have a God-given right to have other believers hurt with them, even if they brought on the pain themselves. “Hurting with” does not mean rescuing a person from pain so that they do not make life corrections. We can be sad a friend lost his job while still helping him see that getting to work late every other day was the cause and has to change.
Knowing that Satan can do maximum damage when a believer hurts alone, we can hurt with others for their resistance to whatever the evil one has planned, as well as to help Jesus who said he “came to destroy the works of the devil”. Let’s be on the Lord’s side and hurt with those who hurt.
How in the Sinful Environment this Together Prepares Us for Heaven
Consider also that we are more vulnerable if we hurt alone. Like good Marines, we don’t want to leave anyone behind. Satan is able to do more damage whenever we are alone, but especially if we are in pain. Hurting alone can take the Christian from loving God and serving others as fervently as before. That Christian’s confidence may waiver and negatively affect his or her work for God’s glory for months, maybe even years.
There are different kinds of people to stand beside in their pain. There are people hurt by the normal events of life, such as losing a job during a recession. There are those who have been hurt by people or organizations who use power in an evil way as when profitable companies cut hours to keep from providing benefits. Then there are those whose own behavior has brought about the hurt, as in losing a job because of poor performance. And, there are those who are hurt because the one hurting them is hurting, as a boss being insulting who privately just had his management salary reduced to protect lesser-paid workers.
All of these hurt Christian people have a God-given right to have other believers hurt with them, even if they brought on the pain themselves. “Hurting with” does not mean rescuing a person from pain so that they do not make life corrections. We can be sad a friend lost his job while still helping him see that getting to work late every other day was the cause and has to change.
Knowing that Satan can do maximum damage when a believer hurts alone, we can hurt with others for their resistance to whatever the evil one has planned, as well as to help Jesus who said he “came to destroy the works of the devil”. Let’s be on the Lord’s side and hurt with those who hurt.
How in the Sinful Environment this Together Prepares Us for Heaven
Both Claire and Evan are busy professionals. When Claire’s best friend at the law office lied about Claire to become a partner in the firm, Claire was a total mess. Unfortunately, this came at a time when her husband Evan’s business was in the middle of a complicated financial transaction. It was a real pain for Evan to be with Claire.
But Evan both loved Claire sincerely and also desired to do what God wanted. So he did whatever he had to in order to have extra time with Claire. They took some days off work and spent hours away from the city. Evan hired an accountant at a high hourly fee to complete the business’ purchase of the other business. He had to trust that he would with God’s help be able to solve any mistakes made. Little did Evan know how this would change his life. After Claire recovered from the betrayal of her non-Christian friend, she became a lawyer at another firm. But Evan changed his whole management style, being available to his employees much more than ever before. He wasn’t aware of it, but this availability for people would go all the way into heaven and enrich his life as well as that of many others for all eternity. |
Like a few other Togethers, hurting with one another now when hurt exists will prepare us to more greatly rejoice when there is no hurt in heaven’s sinlessness.
Imagine someone who was crushed by an unfaithful husband running off with her best friend. Now consider two of her friends, one who kept emotional distance because she was not so much fun to be around and another who took her pain and resentment in stride and kept by her side. Now in heaven, which one will recognize that hurt friend’s lack of emotional pain and be filled with joy?
This principle applies to more than a few Togethers. Any evil paid attention to in this life will heighten sensitivity to its absence in heaven. And that will increase our capacity to sense joy.
Haven’t we all noticed someone full of more joy than we are capable? I know I do when visiting a typical art museum. I don’t understand art in its classical form. Not having paid attention to art through a college class, I am not prepared to find a whole lot of joy in traditional art. But, being a child from poverty, I had to make my own toys out of twigs and rocks. So, when I visited a unique art museum in New York City and saw a whole kitchen made out of tiny beads and could even read headlines on a newspaper made of beads, I found more joy than many others around me. I could find superior enjoyment because of my experience creating unique things from whatever was around with which to work.
In heaven we should all want to experience joy at a very high level. Electronic games can help us see this concept. Many of those games have levels to be achieved. Players can be glued to their PlayStation, X Box, phone or tablet for hours working to get to a higher level. And, even if a player gets to the 500th level, it will not be worth much of anything in real life. On the other hand, if we were to take the Togethers one-tenth as serious as those playing electronic games, the levels achieved will last past death into forever. They will come to heaven with us. Some will be able to still progress to higher levels in heaven because sin is not involved in their skill development. But many, like increased level of joy related to hurting with one another, will not be able to go to higher levels in heaven. The chance to hurt with one another is now. Now is the time to increase the level of joy that people are no longer feeling hurt in heaven.
If we want to achieve higher levels, we can pay more attention to the hurts in people’s lives. When we get together with those in our Christian Inner Circles, we can find out about things going wrong and not just focus on fun victories. When we ask what we can pray for, and this should happen whenever we have time with others, we can discover opportunities to hurt with them. Let’s do this and increase our experience of this one type of joy during our forever lives in heaven.
There is another special spiritual ability for heaven that hurting with one another will build. That is being available for people. In heaven, which lasts forever, it may become a bit boring to not be able to escape just thinking of our own desires. Those of us who pay attention to the hurt of others and make time for those in pain will develop an ability to broaden our lives, purposes and joys in heaven.
Being there for hurting people can only add to our joyful availability for others in heaven. And, seeing that everyone in heaven is no longer hurting will add even more joy to our eternal experience.
How this Together Can Make It Really Good in Heaven
Imagine someone who was crushed by an unfaithful husband running off with her best friend. Now consider two of her friends, one who kept emotional distance because she was not so much fun to be around and another who took her pain and resentment in stride and kept by her side. Now in heaven, which one will recognize that hurt friend’s lack of emotional pain and be filled with joy?
This principle applies to more than a few Togethers. Any evil paid attention to in this life will heighten sensitivity to its absence in heaven. And that will increase our capacity to sense joy.
Haven’t we all noticed someone full of more joy than we are capable? I know I do when visiting a typical art museum. I don’t understand art in its classical form. Not having paid attention to art through a college class, I am not prepared to find a whole lot of joy in traditional art. But, being a child from poverty, I had to make my own toys out of twigs and rocks. So, when I visited a unique art museum in New York City and saw a whole kitchen made out of tiny beads and could even read headlines on a newspaper made of beads, I found more joy than many others around me. I could find superior enjoyment because of my experience creating unique things from whatever was around with which to work.
In heaven we should all want to experience joy at a very high level. Electronic games can help us see this concept. Many of those games have levels to be achieved. Players can be glued to their PlayStation, X Box, phone or tablet for hours working to get to a higher level. And, even if a player gets to the 500th level, it will not be worth much of anything in real life. On the other hand, if we were to take the Togethers one-tenth as serious as those playing electronic games, the levels achieved will last past death into forever. They will come to heaven with us. Some will be able to still progress to higher levels in heaven because sin is not involved in their skill development. But many, like increased level of joy related to hurting with one another, will not be able to go to higher levels in heaven. The chance to hurt with one another is now. Now is the time to increase the level of joy that people are no longer feeling hurt in heaven.
If we want to achieve higher levels, we can pay more attention to the hurts in people’s lives. When we get together with those in our Christian Inner Circles, we can find out about things going wrong and not just focus on fun victories. When we ask what we can pray for, and this should happen whenever we have time with others, we can discover opportunities to hurt with them. Let’s do this and increase our experience of this one type of joy during our forever lives in heaven.
There is another special spiritual ability for heaven that hurting with one another will build. That is being available for people. In heaven, which lasts forever, it may become a bit boring to not be able to escape just thinking of our own desires. Those of us who pay attention to the hurt of others and make time for those in pain will develop an ability to broaden our lives, purposes and joys in heaven.
Being there for hurting people can only add to our joyful availability for others in heaven. And, seeing that everyone in heaven is no longer hurting will add even more joy to our eternal experience.
How this Together Can Make It Really Good in Heaven
I don’t get what others find so joyful about Raul’s story of how he healed from hurt when friends stuck by him after his best friend was killed. It is just confusing to me. It’s a nice story, but something to be enjoyed to the point of radiance? It doesn’t make me miserable when I see others feel joy that doesn’t make sense to me. And, I don’t miss what they have. Isn’t it nice that heaven is without pain and regret?
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There will many more kinds of joy in heaven than there are fish on the menus of a thousand seafood restaurants. Hurting with one another will develop one of those many joys – that of seeing other people released from hurt.
We will experience joy at the hurt we learn is no longer in the lives of endless people when we hear the wonderful testimonies of each new group of friends from all over the world and different time periods and cultures. If we enter heaven having hurt with many others, we will not be bored during these testimonies or unable to generate authentic interest. Millions of such small groupings discussing God’s grace in their lives back before death will reveal many no-longer-present hurts. Those of us who stuck by hurting friends and family members will feel greater joy in hearing of the deliverance from hurt that was experienced back on the Old Earth.
And, another thing. Have we ever known people who don’t know what to do with their time? Often there is much that they can do for others, but they don’t think about that. Most of these people are not cold, uncaring people. The list of possibilities in their minds just does not include
what they might do for others. It is sad to see them confused, sometimes tormented, by this lack of direction. They truly are miserable until they finally decide what to do.
If we would not want to be like them in this life, we sure don’t want to be that way in heaven. Eternal life will be a whole lot more fun if our options for the day’s activities has others on the menu.
So, imagine how much richer life will be in heaven if our daily choices include participating with others in their interests. They won’t have hurts to be soothed, but we will have advanced skills in caring about people. That should open up interest in doing new things with others that we otherwise would not do. If just once a month we did something with someone else for their joy of companionship in the activity, in those 1,000 years we sing about in the song “Amazing Grace” we will have tried 12,000 things we otherwise would have missed out on enjoying.
Let’s see this vision of heaven clearly. It is not wild speculation, but good probability. So, let’s see what can lie ahead and pursue it.
Opportunity for a Closer Relationship with God through Empathy
We will experience joy at the hurt we learn is no longer in the lives of endless people when we hear the wonderful testimonies of each new group of friends from all over the world and different time periods and cultures. If we enter heaven having hurt with many others, we will not be bored during these testimonies or unable to generate authentic interest. Millions of such small groupings discussing God’s grace in their lives back before death will reveal many no-longer-present hurts. Those of us who stuck by hurting friends and family members will feel greater joy in hearing of the deliverance from hurt that was experienced back on the Old Earth.
And, another thing. Have we ever known people who don’t know what to do with their time? Often there is much that they can do for others, but they don’t think about that. Most of these people are not cold, uncaring people. The list of possibilities in their minds just does not include
what they might do for others. It is sad to see them confused, sometimes tormented, by this lack of direction. They truly are miserable until they finally decide what to do.
If we would not want to be like them in this life, we sure don’t want to be that way in heaven. Eternal life will be a whole lot more fun if our options for the day’s activities has others on the menu.
So, imagine how much richer life will be in heaven if our daily choices include participating with others in their interests. They won’t have hurts to be soothed, but we will have advanced skills in caring about people. That should open up interest in doing new things with others that we otherwise would not do. If just once a month we did something with someone else for their joy of companionship in the activity, in those 1,000 years we sing about in the song “Amazing Grace” we will have tried 12,000 things we otherwise would have missed out on enjoying.
Let’s see this vision of heaven clearly. It is not wild speculation, but good probability. So, let’s see what can lie ahead and pursue it.
Opportunity for a Closer Relationship with God through Empathy
Some here in heaven seem to crave a visit from Jesus more than I do. Oh, I want such a visit also, but there are an awful lot of people here for Him to get around to. So, I considered why I don’t seem to need a visual visit from God as much as many others.
Then it came to me. If I observe others closely, I can tell that they do not sense God’s presence as strongly as I do. We all know that God is everywhere at all times, but that can be just head knowledge. But, I feel Him inside of me. It is like Jesus permeates my being. I do know this by everyone’s testimonies. There are some of us who put a lot more effort into cooperating with the Holy Spirit before death. We let Him have His Way and that made us more obedient than most and more desirous of becoming like Jesus. That is most likely why some of us feel Him so strongly from the inside out. We came to heaven more like Jesus. |
God cares for the downtrodden throughout Scripture. He will appreciate any of us who stick by hurting people. If we do so, we will be the kind of citizens in heaven He will be more drawn to.
While we will all occasionally see God visually in heaven when He pays a personal visit, it is most likely that we will continually sense Him, and that will be perceiving Him in a more cherished way. It is not clear why we would value seeing God visually over being permeated with His presence in the ways we have become more like Him.
We certainly want to see Jesus sitting in a room with us, but we should want to feel Him living inside of us even more. Presently we have sin clouding everything.
While we will all occasionally see God visually in heaven when He pays a personal visit, it is most likely that we will continually sense Him, and that will be perceiving Him in a more cherished way. It is not clear why we would value seeing God visually over being permeated with His presence in the ways we have become more like Him.
We certainly want to see Jesus sitting in a room with us, but we should want to feel Him living inside of us even more. Presently we have sin clouding everything.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror. . . .
1 Cor 13:12
1 Cor 13:12
But, in heaven we will most likely sense our Lord’s presence within us in ways we cannot now. It may very well be possible that we will sense Jesus in us to the extent that we developed His likeness before death. But, remember that we cannot in heaven develop spiritual joy in the way of hurting with those who hurt, because there will be no one hurting in heaven. We will feel a little more of Jesus in us, that part of Him that hurts with others, only if we hurt with others now before we die.
Yes, we want Jesus to knock on our door in heaven. If He were there at our door and everyone else’s door at the same time, Him being at our door would not be as special as if it happened only occasionally. And, on Earth after He arose from the dead, Jesus was not in more than one place at a time. So it is a stretch to imagine it would be different in heaven. So, we should want Him inside of us as much as possible. That is the reason we stay on Earth after we accept Christ and become citizens of heaven. This is where we become more like Jesus in all the ways requiring righteousness in the face of sinful surroundings.
Yes, we want Jesus to knock on our door in heaven. If He were there at our door and everyone else’s door at the same time, Him being at our door would not be as special as if it happened only occasionally. And, on Earth after He arose from the dead, Jesus was not in more than one place at a time. So it is a stretch to imagine it would be different in heaven. So, we should want Him inside of us as much as possible. That is the reason we stay on Earth after we accept Christ and become citizens of heaven. This is where we become more like Jesus in all the ways requiring righteousness in the face of sinful surroundings.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son . . . .
Rom 8:29
Rom 8:29
Therefore, hurting with one another is a lot more than meets the eye. It is huge. Let’s embrace it for a closer relationship with God, especially inside of us, for all of eternity.
Praise and Prayer Regarding this Together
Oh, Patient God who stands by us all of the time when we are hurting, help us to appreciate Your presence during suffering and difficult times. Thank You for being there.
Help me and those in my Christian Inner Circle to become more and more sensitive to the hurt people among us. Empower us, Holy Spirit to be there with them in their pain.
I and those in my Christian Inner Circle will need Your help to grow our spirits to want to hurt with other Christians who are suffering. Help us to yield to the work of the Holy Spirit for all of us to give You more glory in the way we live together when some of us are in physical, emotional, or financial pain.
Please help us all to become more like Jesus who did more than we can when He hurt for us and our sin predicament and died on the cross in our place. Jesus did not look away to avoid seeing our plight, so fill us with Your love that none of us in my Christian Inner Circle ignores another Christian’s pain.
May our lives worship You more because we stand by others in their pain, just as You do with us. And, to reflect Your wonderful character, empower us to hurt by the side of those hurting for as long as they are suffering.
Make us strong in Your power to defeat the devil by joining in the battle against Satan and keeping our eyes open for casualties. Empower us to hurt with those afflicted by evil. We want to be by Your side in destroying the works of the devil, and we need to know how to hurt with those who suffer in one way or another.
Help us all to prepare for rejoicing in heaven when we will see no one hurt in heaven by feeling the pain of others now and hurting with them.
Ever increasing practice of the Togethers of Scripture will (1) create in you the loving essence of Jesus, (2) give Jesus the kind of love He requested, (3) provide you with the most significant spiritual lifestyle which is attainable only through Christian community, (4) offer significant worship to God by reflecting his own character back to him through your behavior, and (5) bring God’s kingdom to earth as asked for in the Lord’s Prayer. And for heaven, such growing obedience to Scripture now will later (6) qualify you for a more responsible place of service as reward in heaven, and, (7) most important of all, give you greater empathy with God for a closer relationship with Him for all of eternity.
Praise and Prayer Regarding this Together
Oh, Patient God who stands by us all of the time when we are hurting, help us to appreciate Your presence during suffering and difficult times. Thank You for being there.
Help me and those in my Christian Inner Circle to become more and more sensitive to the hurt people among us. Empower us, Holy Spirit to be there with them in their pain.
I and those in my Christian Inner Circle will need Your help to grow our spirits to want to hurt with other Christians who are suffering. Help us to yield to the work of the Holy Spirit for all of us to give You more glory in the way we live together when some of us are in physical, emotional, or financial pain.
Please help us all to become more like Jesus who did more than we can when He hurt for us and our sin predicament and died on the cross in our place. Jesus did not look away to avoid seeing our plight, so fill us with Your love that none of us in my Christian Inner Circle ignores another Christian’s pain.
May our lives worship You more because we stand by others in their pain, just as You do with us. And, to reflect Your wonderful character, empower us to hurt by the side of those hurting for as long as they are suffering.
Make us strong in Your power to defeat the devil by joining in the battle against Satan and keeping our eyes open for casualties. Empower us to hurt with those afflicted by evil. We want to be by Your side in destroying the works of the devil, and we need to know how to hurt with those who suffer in one way or another.
Help us all to prepare for rejoicing in heaven when we will see no one hurt in heaven by feeling the pain of others now and hurting with them.
Ever increasing practice of the Togethers of Scripture will (1) create in you the loving essence of Jesus, (2) give Jesus the kind of love He requested, (3) provide you with the most significant spiritual lifestyle which is attainable only through Christian community, (4) offer significant worship to God by reflecting his own character back to him through your behavior, and (5) bring God’s kingdom to earth as asked for in the Lord’s Prayer. And for heaven, such growing obedience to Scripture now will later (6) qualify you for a more responsible place of service as reward in heaven, and, (7) most important of all, give you greater empathy with God for a closer relationship with Him for all of eternity.